If I love you, I want to be next to you. If I’m not, I feel emptiness in my heart that grows shallower each passing day. With out you near me, I realize how much better you make me with nothing more than your presence. Each day you’re away from me, my happiness gets a little harder to reach. I was only half the man I wanted to be before you and now with you, I’m half of that! For not only did you take with you the love you brought to me but, you also took a part of me that wasn’t truly alive before you. If I love you, I need you because love isn’t real… unless I’m with you.
Long Distance relationships are tough. Mainly because like in the poem above, when you connect with a person to the point that “Love” rears it’s munificent yet precarious head, you must nurture that love and make sure you protect it from the harsh realities of life. When you aren’t physically with the other caregiver to the love, it can quickly become a nefarious task, ultimately leading to failure. So, how do you avoid screwing up a long distance relationship? It’s not easy but I guarantee, without these 5 things, you won’t have a chance!
Know That It’s Worth It –
The biggest thing you need to figure out when entering or deciding to do a long distance relationship is whether or not putting yourself through the future hardship is worth it. Is being without the person you love better than finding a new thing? Is the person you’re looking to do a long distance relationship with really good for you? Are you good for them? You must understand what you are getting into and know that it is 100% worth it because when it’s all said and done, you’re essentially cutting off the possibility of a full relationship for a piece of one… Be certain that you are right for each other or at the very least, be certain that you and the person both think you’re right for each other. Because once these types of questions are answered, if you still choose to move forward with the long distance relationship, the work really begins.
*In deciding if it’s worth it, don’t forget to make sure that you trust the person. If there’s no trust in your relationship, F**K your Relationship!
Find the Positive –
Yes, a long distance relationship can present less than desirable aspects but it’s not all bad. You will have free time that you can either look at as loneliness or as quality time to do the things you need to do for you. You won’t have you’re person close to you normally which you can either see as you being in relationship by yourself or you can recognize it to be a chance to really get to know the person without the distractions of attraction. Yes, when it’s time to go out you won’t have your partner by your side but you’ll learn how to have a good time despite someone being there to occupy your attention. Speaking of attention, through long distance relationships, you can also learn to not be needy for the attention you might often desire making it easier to deal with the times that your partner may need to themselves. The point is, light can shine on any bad situation and reflect the good off of it, if you don’t block it out.
F*** a Schedule, Just Stay Consistent! –
A lot of the experts may feel like if you have a certain amount of time set aside each day or make plans to talk to your partner at a certain time everyday, it will ensure that you and your significant other can keep the communication strong. Well, in theory that can work but in real life, especially if you actually have a life, that shit isn’t realistic. Things come up, things happen. Life conditions change, especially when you find yourself with new free time. Instead of doing the “time aside” thing, be regular. Talk to your person the same way you would talk to them if they were in the same place as you. Share your daily life adventures with them. Make them feel as if they are there with you. Stay consistent with sharing your everyday lives but don’t over do it! Reality is, the longer you stay apart from your partner, the more occupied your time will become. The more occupied you become, the more annoying it will be to receive a call or text every hour on the hour. You shouldn’t have to feel obligated to talk. You must accept that new dynamics are being introduced in your lives so you must find a new way of doing things WITHOUT over complicating them. Some days you’ll talk to your partner more frequently than other days. Some days you’ll talk longer than other days. Just know that each day there should be communication and it should be genuine. Communication in a relationship should never be forced, if it is, you shouldn’t be in that relationship!
FaceTime Sex –
If you had sex when you were in the same place, that can’t just end because you’re in two different places now! Granted, there won’t be an actual physical interaction but, if you two do it right, it can still be very gratifying. You can also learn a lot about your partner’s desires, fantasies, and turn ons that can be exploited once you two are back in the same place again. This is not about ensuring that you or your person stays faithful because once again, it’s not actual sex, it’s about keeping that connection that partners gain through sex, alive and well.
Find Your Way Back –
A long distance relationship is done out of necessity. If you’re doing one it should be because you’ve made a decision that the person you’re with is the one you want to be with forever. That’s a lot but honestly, if you don’t feel that way, you are essentially wasting your time. With that being said, you don’t want to spend forever apart from the person you love so, there needs to be a plan to reunite and be in the same place together for good. You might not know when in the beginning but you should be constantly looking to figure it out. Once you know when and where the two of you will be together, make it happen! It should be your mission to be in the same place as your heart is.