Get A Second Chance With The Person You Curved!

Are you the beauty or the beast? Don’t lie to yourself; and don’t give me the answer that your family and friends have been giving you since forever ago!  You think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? NOPE!!! True, what I consider to be beautiful is up to me BUT there is a consensus on if you’re cute or not. Someone walks past you in the street, do they stare at you or do they avoid making eye contact; even worst, do they not acknowledge you?  There are plenty of signs to let you know so with that in mind, decide… Are you the beauty or are you a beast?


 Ok, now that you have your answer I will tell you that I’ve personally been BOTH the ugly ass beast and the savagely handsome beauty! Being on both sides of that particular coin actually helped me gain some unique perspective when writing my book, “The Friend Zone Playbook”. As you can probably tell from the title, my book provides tips on how anyone can get out of the friend zone. So, let’s say a person that you personally put in the zone reads my book and figures out how to get out of your zone or what if you decide to give someone a chance that for whatever reason, you originally blew off; what do you think their response will be?


If you’re dealing with someone like me, then you’re fine. Call it cocky, confidence, or craziness but, I’ve always had the mindset that one day, every “no” I’ve received would turn into a, “Please, J, give me a chance!!!” I also knew when that day did arrive I’d say, “Hell yeah, we can do this!” Now, whether this should’ve been my mentality is up for debate but if you’ve curved someone that is now looking like a snack to you, you should hope they share the same sentiments as I once did. However, there are plenty that will feel it’s your loss! Doesn’t matter what you do, if they feel like you’re not worth giving a second chance or they decide their worth entitles them to throwing up the deuces to you then, you’re out back.


The way the “curve” was administered has a lot to do with your chances on getting back into the good graces of an individual as well. Unless the person agrees with why you turned them down, the reason for the curve means nothing but the way you let them know, does! If you were cold or sarcastic, the person will likely keep that shit close to their heart. I’ve seen a dude tell a girl that was interested in him, “Yeah, it’s gonna be a NO for me, Dawg!” He really Randy Jackson-ed her ass! Unfortunately, when sundress season came around and he realized how cute the girl really was, she acted like he didn’t exist.


While there are those so thirsty for positive validation that they’ll come back no matter how bad they were rejected, for the most part, the curves that you give out are easier to come back from if you don’t leave a person feeling embarrassed, inadequate, or unseen. Just something to keep in your mind because you never know who’s gonna win the lotto or get a new face!


Some people will give you a second chance with no problem while others just won’t. If you realize that someone you once wouldn’t give the time of day is suddenly occupying your thoughts, take action. UNLESS, their ratchet meter was higher than you’re built to handle, they’re a killer, their breath smells like baby boo boo, or they have 7 kids with twins on the way! But, if that isn’t the case and you really want to get that person back on your wave, persistence and honesty is key! Let the person know why you didn’t want to involved with them the first time around. If it was because you didn’t have the time, let that be known. If you didn’t see the person in that way, it’s ok to tell them that. If you thought they were ugly… I mean, don’t say that shit but you can still be truthful by saying that you didn’t think they were your type. People appreciate honesty. It not only tells them why it didn’t work before, but it also can give them a sense of relief that your reason for curving them isn’t applicable anyone.


Whether you decide to text a person out of the blue, “accidently” add them to a group chat, or be upfront and tell them that you messed up by not catching their wave the first go round, if you do come back from the curve that you provided, make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. It would suck to have to RE-Curve a person!

J Rod Tanner

Los Angeles. New York. Virginia