How To Tell A Person REALLY Wants To Be With You...

I often talk about wasting time. That’s because I believe that time is the most valuable asset that any person has. It’s important to protect your time. During my relationship coaching sessions, I’ve found that one way single people waste their time is by trying to figure out if the person they’re seeing is really serious about pursuing a relationship with them. Since it can be difficult to determine if a person is really into you or if they are just holding on to you by feeding you bullshit, I’ve listed a couple of things to look out for. If you’ve been seeing someone consistently for over two months and they have not or isn’t currently doing ALL of these things… Might be time to start responding to those people in your DMs.


They Make Plans To See You

When you are dating in hopes of starting a relationship, you’re usually looking for a life partner, or at least a person you can count on to be there when needed. That means that you’re searching for someone to be around you on a consistent basis. Since that’s the case, you are going to want the person to be someone who actually wants to be there! You’re too dope of a person to have to force someone to be around you.  They should be making plans to be around your dope ass on a consistent basis, if possible. If they don’t, screw them, their lost.


They Contact You First

Now, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be hitting them up too but by no means should you be the only one making first contact. “Good Morning” texts don’t count either! A lot of people will play like they are too busy to hit you up first or they might act like they didn’t want to bother you but that’s all bullshit. Equal opportunity contacting.


They Give You Real Conversations

Now, granted, you might like the strong, silent type or someone who is a little shy, but if they’re really about building something with you, they’re going to want to know about you. They’re gonna text you, they’re gonna call you, when you’re out at dinner, they’re going to ask about your day. You might be a person that likes to tell everything before your asked but if a person really cares about you and what you’re saying, they will ask follow up questions! Great communication is the key to a great relationship, so practice that shit on a day to day basis. If they don’t, remove them from your day to day!


They Try To Seduce You

That’s right, they are showing you that they won’t you. They tell you how bad they want your sexy ass when you’re at work. If y’all haven’t gotten that far yet, they let you know they can’t wait til you bless them with it. If you’re waiting til marriage, they let you know it’s taking everything in them not to go to the Justice of the Peace right now so that they can experience a piece! My fiancé always tells me that sex isn’t everything in a relationship and she’s right but dammit, a person that wants you to be their everything is going to yearn for you in everyway!

 They Pay Attention

A person that knows you will instinctually learn your patterns. No, not like the stalker you dated in high school but, they will look forward to your daily habits. When those are off, if a person is really into you, they’re going to notice. Furthermore, they’re going to bring it to you. Not in order to interrogate you on why but so that they can make sure that you’re okay.


They Make Sure You’re Feeling Them

When I was out there being Prince Thot-a-Lot, I made every woman a priority while I was with her. What I didn’t do was ask if they were REALLY into me. I knew that a question like that would make them think I wanted something that I didn’t, a real connection. It’s one thing for someone to enjoy you when in your presence but it’s another thing for them to like you even when you’re gone.  If they don’t assure themselves that they’re not wasting their time with you at least once, you’re definitely wasting your time with them. Even the most confident of people want to make sure your actions and words align… if they’re smart.


They CALMLY Explain Misunderstandings

Whether it comes from their past, they way they handle certain people or situations, or the way they interact with you, at some point their will be questions. The way those questions are answered should be evaluated carefully. If a person is too busy defending themselves to care about providing you with contextual meaning behind any question you may have, they either don’t want to be with you or they’re not ready to be in a real relationship. The person that deserves you will make it they’re duty to give you the information necessary to be comfortable in your relationship. They will give you the RESPECT that you deserve when they’re giving you that information.


They Tell You That They Want You

I wish that this were as self-explanatory as it sounds but often times people find themselves getting deep with a person that isn’t at them same place as them. Yes actions speak louder than words but as I said earlier, words should affirm! A person will be quick to tell you that they never said they wanted a relationship or worse, that they already told you they didn’t want a relationship so, it’s super important that you hear from them their desire for you. This isn’t about ego, relationships never should be, it’s about having a record of them stating that you’re not wasting your time. Yes, actions must follow words but if words weren’t important, the sacred phrase, “I Do” wouldn’t matter. When you think you’re dating someone that could possible be more in your life, make sure everything lines up, actions, personal desires, and yes their words, because your time is too precious to let somebody waste.

J Rod Tanner

Los Angeles. New York. Virginia