It’s 2am, you need to be to work by 8am, and instead of sleeping your face off, you stuck on their page. You two have been broken up for a couple of weeks now but no matter what you tell yourself or your friends, you’re spending every night thinking about and watching their every move via social media. It’s not like you want the relationship back but for some reason, you just can’t shake that person out of your spirit. Rather than “sub” the shit outta them on your socials or listen to Adele music until you find someone new, if you’re really ready to be done, try doing some of the following things to get through your breakup with ease.
Don’t Respond to the 10pm “WYD” Text
It’s a trap! They don’t care what you’re doing; they only care about whom you’re doing it with! A 10pm ‘WYD” text feels like a set up, ESPECIALLY on a weeknight! 10pm you ask what I’m doing. 11pm you’re coming over. 12am we back to “being grown”. By 1am, we’re going back and forth about why we should or shouldn’t be together and now I’m tired for work the next morning! Okay… Yes, at 10pm they could also be missing you as much as you’re missing them but if you’re confident that you shouldn’t be with the person, don’t give in to those confusing, missing emotions. Ignore the “kinda late” text messages or even better…
See how fast you can block them off of ALL your socials AND out of your phone. Yes, you have to erase the number too. No, you can’t keep any of the text messages. If you’re truly ready to be done with a person but it’s hard to move on, block them! Unfortunately, they haven’t created a block button for your memories yet but removing them from your immediate view and taking away the ability to contact them is a good alternative.
Don’t Be Petty
Usually we are at our petty pinnacles right after a break up. Sometimes it’s to make us feel better while other times it’s to try and get back at the person, whatever the reason, try to pass on being petty. Reason being, it draws you back in emotionally; it keeps the person on your mind. It also can serve as a reminder to the other person that they’re still on your mind. So, put the phone down, don’t call their job to get them fired.
Replay the Bad Times
After every break up there usually comes a time that you start to wonder if breaking up was the right thing to do. It’s very normal, people break up and get back together all the time, who’s to say you aren’t TRULY suppose to be with the person. Granted, none of us can predict the future but what we all can do is remember the past. Reminisce about all of the times that made you want to leave. Think back to all of the promises that were made to keep you but were never done. Were you treated like a gift or a burden? Keep it a buck with yourself; did you break up for a good reason? If the answer is yes and you really thought it was best for you to move on, do that! The only thing you know for sure is “what was” not, “what could be”. Don’t bet on a change to happen when you’re given no evidence that one actually will.
It’s Not Just About You
Why shouldn’t they be with you? What makes you a bad choice for them? Where do you fall short in being enough for them? Usually when a relationship is broken, there are things that one or both parties were missing. If you weren’t able to provide those missing pieces because of the type of person you are, it’s ok. Just try to remember that when you are finding it difficult to get over the relationship. If you went back would you just be hurting that person? Or worst, by going back, are you blocking that person from being with someone who can truly love them the way they need to be loved?
Get Busy/Get to the Bag
Most of the time, a relationship gives you something that makes being out of that relationship hard, a partner. A relationship provides you with a person to spend your time with, someone to experience life with. When you’re done with that person, life continues and you should too, especially if you’re not trying to dwell on the past. Call your friends that you curved So you could hang with bae. Rediscover your love for … whatever you have a love for! Binge watch the shows you didn’t get a chance to see because your ex wouldn’t watch it with you. My favorite thing to do in order to pass your new free time is, spend your free time working on something that will get you more money. If you’re gonna cry about something, do it while you’re counting the bag! Money doesn’t make things better but neither does wasting your time doing nothing. Do things to keep your mind occupied in order to stay clear of slipping backwards.
Remember that 10pm text? Well, just know that there will come a time during this break up that you too might want to send out the same text. Since you’re smarter than that, you must prepare yourself! It doesn’t matter if preparation for you is calling up, “old faithful” to help keep your cravings low or making sure you still know how to take care of yourself; in the end, have a way to get satisfied WITHOUT the person you’re use to. Especially if your ex was good at what they did! Don’t break up with the ex only to find yourself going back for the sex!
I know at least one of these tips will help you with making a clear break from your failed relationship but just remember, TIME is the ultimate healer. Well, them dying will help make sure they’re out of your life too but… Let’s not go that far!